Standups Are An Unnecessary Evil

I get why they exist. I get the theory: Say what you’re working on. Flag if you’re blocked. Don’t get sidetracked. Keep it tight. We’ll adjust the sprint as if it matters.

As you move around teams and companies you’ll come across a load of different styles. It might be five camera off Zoom squares (you need to get out). Someone will try and throw a ball at you. I’ve heard of a team that finish their standup off with a single clap, presumably in the hope of summoning Ken Schwaber.

If you’re deep into scrum I wont be able to convince you not to be, but I think for most teams, most of the time, it’s fluff. Process theatre. Useful in theory, pointless in practice.

It can’t be the case that you’d be happy that someone has waited until their allotted standup speaking time to say if they’re blocked. Does a daily sprint adjustment really help you ship the thing?

What actually matters is connection. Not alignment. Not updates. Just, you know, feeling like you’re on a team with other actual humans.

So bin the standup. And instead, do this:

Book half an hour. Call it “coffee.” Ours is called “Jit tea” because we’re bad people. Talk nonsense. Tell a stupid story. Ask what people are having for lunch. Don’t force it, or structure it. If someone doesn’t fancy it one day, leave them in peace.

Just hang out. Especially if you’re remote.

Chances are, you’ll end up chatting about work anyway. You big nerd.

But it won’t be performative. It’ll be natural, and when something is going wrong, someone will mention it.

Teams don’t run on Jira tickets. They run on trust, connection, shared experience. None of that comes out the box, you’ve got to work on it.

So yeah. Kill the standup. But keep the people bit. The talking shit bit. The bit that makes it a team.